A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Umm. err. uhh. so yeah.
  • engineeringofjose:





    My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

    So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

    It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

    An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

    So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

    My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

    I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

    What’s next pizza delivery hitmen


    (via cheers-to-the-fitblrs)

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  • hook-found-emma:

    Broken & Happy Killian (because of a certain Swan)

    (via tauntaunrider)

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  • So we were sitting in class today



    and my U.S. History teacher was trying to get us to understand why it was such a big deal that England had put a tax on colonial sugar, and he goes,

    "What if you had to pay a tax every time you logged onto wifi?"

    And the whole class just went


    and I heard at least two people whisper “I would murder someone”

    I will keep reblogging this in the name of historical science

    (via midnightcrater)

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  • inspectra:

    ah yes, the three most historically important revolutions. the russian, french, and dance dance

    (Source: superrecursive, via dutchster)

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  • roman-numerals:



    This pizza place has a very good idea

    yes yes yes

    The owner, a 28-year Army vet, will even help students with their assignments “to the extent that I can.”


    (via nepetastuck)

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  • metalheadswaltzing:





    help I’m having emotions about a cartoon antidepressant trying to be useful


    yes but look at it, it cares about her and just wants to help her be able to function. It’s like “I know you’re sad. here, I’ll help you.”

    LIKE OKAY THOUGH can I explain why this is exceedingly brilliant??  Because when anti-depressants work right, that’s what they DO.  They don’t make you happy or emotionless or unhealthy in any way, they make you FUNCTIONAL.  They make it so that a depressed person who can barely get out of bed can start to support themselves again and more importantly, start to THINK for themselves again without the permeating presence of depression.

    Depression is a cyclical disease, that tells you to think a certain way, and, because you’re depressed, you generally believe it, and then things get worse and worse.  The ONLY thing anti-depressants do is to STOP that cycle in its tracks!!  Which is something to be ecstatic about and celebrated, even if you don’t realize it at the time, because when you’re depressed, getting out of bed is climbing Mount Everest.  Antidepressants help stop that cycle so that one day soon, getting out of bed can JUST be getting out of bed.  They don’t even expedite the recovery process in most cases, they just make recovery POSSIBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.  So this little guy is portrayed with a fuckton more accuracy than I ever expected from a commercial.

    It’s back and adorable

    (via cheers-to-the-fitblrs)

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  • (Source: stonerclone, via ezras-turtleneck)

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  • dennys:



    Relationship status: Breakfast

    It’s two thirty in the afternoon.

    When we’re together time doesn’t exist.

    (via cheers-to-the-fitblrs)

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  • poopinthespeedforce:

    this remains the least funniest thing anyone has ever posted on the internet and I want to repost it here so we can reflect on how low humanity can go

    it is so unfunny that every time I look at it it actually steals future laughs from things I will later find funny

    (via ilovecharts)

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  • vapor-man:


    where do quicksand take you tho 

    The sand world

    (via nepetastuck)

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  • zanetehaiden:

    Yes mother I have slept for thirteen hours straight but Jesus slept for three days straight and started a religion so I don’t wanna hear it

    (Source: zanetheaiden, via nepetastuck)

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  • h0odrich:

    not interested dot com forward slash you

    (via cheers-to-the-fitblrs)

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